Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
