She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize