ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Randomize
