She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize