How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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