its not stalking. its research.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
