You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
