Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
