is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
