thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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