im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
