i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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