you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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