My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
