I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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