He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
