i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
