i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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