a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
