I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize