...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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