i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
