I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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