You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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