There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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