I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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