I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
