She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
