We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
