he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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