he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
