So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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