Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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