Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
