Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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