How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
