I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
