Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
