I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
lets start a swedish sibling band together
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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