Need sex. Gaining weight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
