people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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