Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
