Got a toothbrush?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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