you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
