i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
