Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You pole danced in your parka.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
