What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i think my cat just said my name.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
