I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
