This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
