im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
