come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
