My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize