first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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