I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's never too late to be topless.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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