You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
