so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
