Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can you repeat that, but with context?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
