Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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