At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
