If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
