Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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