Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
