How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
